The speech

From time to time I have written about the speeches I would like to hear Barack Obama give. It seems to me that, with the massive stimulus, the bailouts and tax hikes, it is time for another. Here is a "what if he was just brutally honest":

"My fellow Americans. Thank you for tuning in tonight. Thanks to my administration, we corrected one of the many problems we inherited and you are still able to watch me without using one of those converter boxes.
I want to talk to you tonight about the state of our Union. When I ran for this job, I had no idea what a mess things were going to be. Really, I thought Hillary would win and I might get some name recognition, maybe a vice presidential nomination. I wasn't really planning on winning. The house is nice and all, but man what a mess. Did I mention we inherited that mess?
Many of you are scared tonight. Jobs are being lost and we feel like there is little we can do. We don't want to face the reality that people don't want to buy gas guzzling cars made by people getting paid $70 per hour when they can buy a more efficient car, made in America, from a nonunion company for much less. Go figure.
To address these problems I came up with an idea: let's throw a boatload of money at it. Sure Congress stuck some wild things in the bill, but hey, my Democratic friends have had eight years of not getting to spend money on the things they like, so tattoo removal programs made it in there. Maybe studying volcanoes doesn't create jobs, but it's pretty cool. Remember, I grew up in Hawaii, I am a big fan of volcanoes.
Still, it seems like the stock market doesn't like my program. Some say I should cut taxes, try to spur investment and business creation, but I wasn't elected to do that. Clinton did some of that and before he knew it, things were going well and he had time on his hands and you know what happened from there...it is important that a President stay busy working on the problems of America and we have enough to keep me busy for the next four years, and really, probably, for the next eight.
Did I mention I inherited this mess?
Some have criticized me for my negative tone, saying it is not inspiring hope. Do you think I like the fact that whenever I open my mouth the Dow seems to drop another 150? If I could say something that would drive the market up I would, but remember the market was already way down when I took office. I inherited this, remember?
Many don't like my plan to help people with their mortgages. I identify with people having trouble making the mortgage. Maybe they reached a little bit, tried to get the big house, said some things they thought people wanted to hear so they could get the house and then, one day, they find out they won, they got the big house and all that goes with it. They moved in, got the kids a puppy, had Oprah, I mean their friends, over. It was all good. After awhile however, they start feeling stretched a little thin. It's tough to keep up. Before you know it, you are behind on the payments and not sure what to do next. I get it.
So my fellow Americans, I am frustrated just like you. I don't really know where we are going next. This economy is something that I have never seen and I don't have all the answers. Pelosi really doesn't either. We are just shooting from the hip, hoping something works. Each night as I return to the residence, I pass the portrait of Jimmy Carter, you don't think that sends chills down my spine?
So tomorrow we'll try something else. Something has got to work. I know it, we're Americans, something will work."

It might not boost the nation's confidence, but it would be honest. Maybe we need some of that right now.