Why couldn't I pitch like that?

Greg Maddux is set to retire on Monday. Given his last two years it is probably a good idea. While still effective at times, he is no longer the consistent 15-20 game winner of his prime.
Maddux should retire as an inspiration to all of us wanna bees and never weres. He looks like an accountant or a vice principal. His fastball rarely exceeds 85 mph. He doesn't have any colorful characteristics or mannerisms on the mound. He looks like someone they grabbed in the ticket line and handed the ball to.
But he was so much more. 355 wins. Say that again: 355 wins. To get there you have to average 15 wins for 23 years. He did that. He won 4 Cy Young Awards. That the Hall of Fame will call as soon as he is eligible is not in doubt.
No scandals. No angry former trainers talking to the tabloids. Maddux bounced around amongst a few teams (Dodgers, Padres and Cubs) at the end of his career because teams not only wanted him to keep pitching, but also wanted his presence in the clubhouse. He was a mentor and teacher for younger pitchers.
How did he do it? I am not sure. When he joined the Dodgers I tried to figure out how this guy throwing 82 m.p.h. could make hitters look so feeble. He just had the ability to throw the ball exactly where he wanted it and where it either could not be hit, or could not be hit hard. He induced tons of ground balls. He did not put people on base with walks. He simply stymied the opponents' offense. Watching Greg Maddux on his game was like watching a great painter at work (actually I have never watched a great painter at work, so it was just great to watch Greg Maddux at work).
All too often money causes the great ones to hang on too long. Remember the great Steve Carlton pitching middle relief for the White Sox or Willie Mays with the Mets? Well, Maddux was 8-13 this year and his E.R.A. has been creeping up, so now is a good time. Still, with the state of pitching today, Maddux easily could have secured another 5-6 million dollars to pitch in 2009. I am glad he recognized it was time, I did not want to see him mopping up for the Rangers, Nationals or Royals.
Maybe when he is inducted into the Hall of Fame he will tell us how he did it. Until then, we will just have to appreciate how a guy that looked like all of us pitched so much better than all of them.